Castiel Drabbles
by BlueSunflower
Summary: Collection of various short fics and/or drabbles. Fic 13: Free Will
1. Wish Fulfillment

A/N: Prompt: Wish fulfillment

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><p>Struggling to find warmth, Castiel pulled his meager jacket tighter and burrowed himself closer to the tree he was trying to sleep against. A strong breeze above waged war against the few remaining leaves on the branches too stubborn to realize it needed to start hibernating for the coming cold.<p>

Winter was approaching, he knew. Before, as an angel, coldness didn't matter. But now…

Desperate for comfort - and for sleep - Castiel raised his eyes to the clear night sky, before returning his gaze, defeated, back to his now human body. There was no need to pray. Even if anyone could hear him, no one would listen.


	2. Alien

A/N: Prompt: Alien

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><p>Castiel stood in the middle of the sidewalk, as the crowd around him swarmed past. All humans on their way to whatever destination awaited them. Some to work, some to home, some to a store. Where they ultimately would end, the angel could only guess.<p>

Once, Castiel could simply look at them and know where they were going. But now, without his powers, he was lost. Alone, adrift in the sea of overwhelming humanity. With no place to go, no mission to fulfill. The only person to save: himself.

As the people moved past him with their sense of purpose, the fallen angel wondered if he'd find his way as well.


	3. Stranded

A/N: Prompt: Stranded

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><p>As Dean shut the door behind him, the recent comfort of safety disappeared entirely. Turning toward the road, a sense of fear washed over Castiel. What would he do? Where would he go? At least before, he'd had a goal: make it to the bunker. Now, he had nothing. If danger came - which the angel knew would be sooner rather than later - this time his friends wouldn't be looking for him. Pulling his meager sweatshirt closer, Cas shook off the despair threatening to overwhelm him.<p>

Starting the long journey away from everything he knew, the fallen angel struggled to gather his shattered faith and convince himself that he could do it alone.


	4. Baby

A/N: Prompt: Baby. Nyx belongs to teaandchess (on tumblr) and her brilliant story, In the Lethe (Parts 1&2). If you haven't read them, you are truly missing out.

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><p>"I'm not a baby," came the defiant lisp from the five year old sitting on the table in front of him.<p>

Castiel paused. Nyx was in a mood, trying to kick her feet away from him. He held her legs steady as he gazed at her thoughtfully.

"Nyx," he quietly regarded the small child. "I am millennial old. I have walked this universe for so long, I have seen mountains rise and seas fall. You," he reminded her, "are only five. In my eyes, you will _always_ be my baby." Softly smiling at his daughter, who looked on the verge of arguing some more, he gave a small sigh and admitted, "But I agree, you are getting older, and perhaps you are now old enough to learn to tie your own shoes."

She seemed to mull this over, and Castiel could feel her unsettled emotions start to calm down. She then nodded her head and looked up at him.

"Okay," she said simply, jumping down from the table. He followed behind, but not too closely, as he watched her move to the couch to work on the laces on her own.


	5. Bar Fight

A/N: Prompt: Bar Fight

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><p>Relationships sucked. Castiel was beginning to understand this. In his latest war with Meg, the demon had taken offense to his comment she was no longer a free agent to do as she pleased in regards to hedonistic acts. That, in fact, she <strong>belonged<strong>. Worse, to_someone_; and most terrifying of all: she liked it.

The four of them were in a bar, drinking at a table while planning their next steps in their current situation. Well, three of them were. The fourth was rebelling, presumably making a statement with the drunk at the bar that a certain angel didn't "own" her. Castiel ignored them.

When the guy tried to grab Meg for a kiss, finally the angel's patience wore out. Ignoring the smirks from his friends, he walked over to Meg and the drunk, stepping between them.

"Let's go," he practically ordered her.

Meg's eyes gave a mischievous glint. Cas felt the pull on his shoulder as the drunk grabbed his attention.

"Hey buddy, back off. Can't you see the lady and I are having a conversation?"

Cas narrowed his eyes. "She doesn't want you."

"Oh? And she wants you? A tax accountant?" The drunk sneered, looking the angel over. He then motioned to Meg. "Here honey, lemme show you a Real Man."

"Trust me," Cas told him, "she doesn't want a human."

The angel looked back at the demon, who to his annoyance seemed to be enjoying herself. With his eyes firmly on Meg, he used his hand to block the upcoming punch from behind him. Slowly, he turned back to the drunk, tightening his grip on the man's fist. Not enough to break, but enough for the guy to whimper as he fell to his knees.

Letting go, Cas said only two words. "Leave. Now." The guy didn't argue, and took off at record pace.

"My hero," came the drawl from behind him, and his anger dissipated.

Turning, he grabbed her close. Leaning into the kiss, he gently reminded her, "Your everything."


	6. Hero

A/N: Prompt: Hero

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><p>On the grassy fields of Heaven, Castiel sat, surrounded by a flock of his fellow angels. The War for Heaven was over, and those who had survived were desperate for guidance. Arrogance had been the downfall of many; nearly all the angels who had only waged war for either power or other selfish concerns had been killed or cast out. Few were left.<p>

The ones who remained were, as Castiel was quickly finding out, the True Guard. Those whose only desire was to serve Heaven and its souls, and return to God's Mission protecting the humans.

It seemed, in a miraculous way, Father had used the War to clean house for his children to start anew.

…a concept that now terrified them. All these angels knew was war. Peace was completely alien to them.

So of course, they all now looked to Castiel.

"No," he shook his head at them. "I will not lead you."

"But Castiel," Inias argued. "Clearly you are God's choice."

"No, Inias," Castiel corrected him. "I would be no one's choice. You know as well as I my failures when I attempted to lead. I believe we need to find a new path. Together."

This time Roslyn spoke up. "But how, Castiel? Not knowing what to do, no clear orders - this," she faltered, "this…Free Will, as you call it, is frightening."

Castiel was silent for a moment, considering the question. Finally, he asked, "Roslyn, do you believe we are doing Our Father's Will? That we are following our Mission, as set out by Him? Taking care of the souls in Heaven, and watching over His Creatures on Earth?"

Roslyn nodded. So did many of the others.

Castiel surveyed them all. "Then have faith in that. When I was human, I knew fear as well. Fear in the unknown can be overwhelming."

Looking away, he continued, lost in a memory. "But when I thought I was at my darkest point, I met a woman. She was praying for the health of her husband. I admit, my faith was low. I told her at the time no one was listening. She said that wasn't possible. She told me my truth didn't shake her faith."

Returning his gaze back to his family, he continued. "It turns out, she was right. Someone _was_ listening. I was just too scared to realize it was me. Her belief was so strong. I knew then, even without Heaven, her faith alone would carry her through. She taught me faith will give you strength, especially in the face of uncertainty."

Murmurs of assent spread through the flock. Castiel could see how his words affected them. Nearly all appeared to be taking his words to heart.

"Do you believe we will find the answers, Castiel?" Inias asked, and Castiel could tell the question was rooted now in wonder, and not distress.

"I don't believe we will find the answers right now," Castiel told them, "but I do believe they will come. We _will_ figure them out. Have faith, and all will be all right."


	7. Open Mic Night

A/N: Prompt: Open Mic Night

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><p>Watching the disaster unfold before him, Dean made a mental note to never take an angel to a karaoke bar again.<p>

There were three of them with the brothers, out "celebrating" their latest Save the World victory. They'd stopped for beers when the flighty-but-boy-can-she-kick-ass Hazel had noticed the karaoke machine. Hazel was still new to Earth, and absolutely fascinated with every minute of it. There'd been no turning back after that.

Dean had flat out said no. Sam had nearly been dragged, but managed to save himself at the last second. Cas, unfortunately, had been swept up by his younger sibling's enthusiasm. He'd receive hell for that later, Dean knew. Inias had refused to join, but Dean smirked that it still wasn't stopping the angel from intently studying the two up on stage.

Sam and Dean tried not to laugh as Cas stood uncomfortably, muddling through the lyrics to "Earth Angel", his low baritone doing nothing more than murdering the tune. Hazel, on the other hand, was going at it full blast. The angel was all over the stage, just _throwing_ herself into the music. She'd almost run over Cas at least twice now. The older angel was trying desperately to give her a wide berth. So too, were the people trying to sit at the tables nearest to the machine. The swirling angel was completely oblivious to it all.

When she stopped, she tried to convince Cas to do another. This time, he wisely shook his head and lead her back to the table. Chuckling to himself, Dean knew. When even Cas looks at you like you've lost your marbles, you've definitely gone off the deep end.


	8. Mistaken Identity

A/N: Prompt: Mistaken Identity

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><p>"Jimmy?"<p>

Castiel couldn't stop his automatic reaction and turned to face a man he'd never seen before. The man, well dressed, stared at the angel as if he'd seen a ghost.

"Jimmy?" The guy repeated, as Castiel stayed silent, not knowing what to say. "Is that you? It's me, Gary. Remember? From work?"

Knowing he had to speak, Castiel pretended to recognize the name. "Yes," he said awkwardly. "Hello, Gary. From work."

"What happened, man? We thought you were dead."

"No, I," Castiel shifted uncomfortably. After leaving the safety of the bunker, it had occurred to him to maybe find the remains of Jimmy's family. But he'd quickly discarded that. He'd caused his vessel and his family enough pain, he didn't need to add more. Finally, he settled on, "I had to leave."

"Oh." Gary looked just as uncomfortable. "Yeah, there were those rumors about your breakdown, that religious thing…" he broke off, clearly realizing he shouldn't say any more.

"Yes," Castiel looked away in shame. Jimmy's family had probably told everyone Jimmy was still locked away, safe in an institution. It didn't take much to see Gary realizing Jimmy's plight ended much worse than that.

Given his own situation, it wasn't hard to pretend.

Aware he looked like a beggar, he saw the pity in Gary's eyes. "Please don't tell Amelia and Claire."

Gary shook his head. "No, whatever you say, man." He then took out his wallet, and pulled out a couple of twenties. Castiel started to refuse, but Jimmy's old friend wouldn't hear of it. "Take it," he said, as at that moment the former angel's hunger betrayed him with a loud stomach growl.

Grateful, Castiel looked at the money now in his hands. "Thank you."

A sad look overcame his vessel's friend. "Take care, Jimmy." And with that, Gary was gone.

"I am trying," Castiel whispered to no one.


	9. Faith

A/N: Prompt: Faith

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><p>Castiel stood in the bunker, pondering the Christmas tree.<p>

"Lame, huh?" came a familiar voice from behind him, as Dean entered the room and put a book on the table. "Makes Charlie Brown's look like a friggin' prize."

Not taking his eyes off the - yes, he agreed - rather pathetic tree, Castiel asked quizzically, "Why is it here?"

"Kevin. Kid cut it down himself. Insisted we put it up."

"Oh."

"Yeah, some crap about him and his mom," Dean explained. "They always did this," Dean waved his hand dismissively, "blah blah family thing during the holidays. Dunno, wasn't really paying attention."

Castiel turned and studied his friend. The Winchesters no longer really celebrated, and an angel had no need for material items. Knowing the brothers' history, Castiel had never questioned it before. But there was something in Dean's tone…

"It's been a rough few years for him," the angel mused.

"Yeah, well, it's been a rough forever for everybody else," his friend replied bitterly. "He'll get used to it."

Castiel pondered this, then turned back toward the tree. Holding a hand up, it started to glow. Both angel and man watched as the small tree started to unbend, reaching straight up, lush dark green color now sprouting from its limbs. The once broken string of lights surrounding the tree lit up, now sparkling with brilliance. What few ornaments were on it, shined in the glow of the lights.

"Cas?"

"You paid attention," Castiel rebuked his friend for his lie. "You didn't need to put this up, yet you did. Your actions betray your words. You know, Dean, as well as I, that we should never get used to it. By helping Kevin, you're teaching him that too."

Dean said nothing. Standing by the angel's side, he watched for a moment the now glorious tree, lost in thought and memories. "Thanks, Cas."

"No, Dean. Thank _you_ for your faith, even when you refuse to admit it," the angel said simply, looking over at his friend. "We should add to it. In older times, they made due with homemade items. I'm sure we can find things here for decoration."

"Yeah, I'll get right on that popcorn string," came the sarcastic response. Then, "Yeah, okay. That might actually work. I think we've got some leftover from that _Breaking Bad_ marathon…"

"You're a good man, Dean Winchester," the angel smirked.

His friend just rolled his eyes, as they both headed towards the kitchen. "Shove it, you ass."


	10. Revenge

A/N: Prompt: Revenge

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><p><em>Hell hath no fury like Dean Winchester's righteous indignation<em>, Castiel thought as he stood silent listening to his friend's rage. Well, maybe not so righteous, but it was certainly loud.

The angel had taken his time answering his friends' call, knowing full well Dean's response wouldn't be pretty. But seriously? Watching Dean fight a Jell-o monster had been totally worth it.

"Thanks for the help, Cas," Sam said sheepishly after his brother stormed out.

"Not a problem, Sam. It's good to see you again."

"Yeah, you too." Pause. Then - "You do know he's going to leave without us, right?"

A mischievous grin graced the angel as he held up his hand and opened his palm. A spark plug from the Impala sat squarely in the center. "I took the liberty of planning ahead."


	11. Enlightenment

A/N: Companion to "Baby" (Ch 4). Nyx belongs to teaandchess (on tumblr) and her brilliant story, In the Lethe (Parts 1&2). If you haven't read them, you are truly missing out.

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><p>"What have you learned today, Castiel?"<p>

Castiel pondered Joshua's question as they walked through the meadow; a garden they'd found, tucked in a river valley. The sounds of nature surrounded them during their journey, as they followed a path next to a trickle of water that some might consider a small stream.

"Nyx is learning to tie her shoes," he finally answered.

Joshua looked perplexed. "And this is teaching you what, exactly?"

Castiel looked to the sky. "I had thought patience, but I see now it's pride."

"Pride is a sin, Castiel," the older angel reminded him.

"It can be," Castiel quietly replied.

"But you do not always agree?"

"It's not that I don't agree, Joshua," came the response. "It's that I believe there's more to it."

"The scripture is clear, my brother."

"Is it?" Castiel was well aware he was treading a fine line towards blasphemy, but he wasn't afraid. It was Joshua's job now to help him define his inner thoughts. Since his latest return to Heaven, Joshua had been chosen for the role of the wayward angel's Mentor, given the older angel's own relationship with God. "As I watched her," Castiel mused, "the pride she takes in mastering the skill…the pride _I_ feel for her…I cannot believe these are bad things."

"'Pride precedes destruction; an arrogant spirit appears before a fall,'" quoted his friend.

"Yes." Castiel remembered Purgatory, when he became a God and lost so much. "But it's the arrogance, isn't it? The vanity?"

"What do you mean?"

"It was my arrogance - my vanity - that lead to my downfall. The belief I could do it alone. That I alone was the only one capable of saving us."

"Pride has brought down many of our brothers and sisters. Even Michael and Lucifer were not immune."

"I understand. I watched that with Nyx. As she struggled with the laces, it became clear to me she wasn't understanding the loops, yet still she stubbornly refused my help. Her determination to do it herself. I take pride in that self-sufficiency. Yet - " he paused, "I told her pride can be a wonderous thing, but when it interferes with your mission, when it becomes too much, it turns destructive." Castiel glanced over at his older friend. "Was I wrong?"

Joshua remained silent for a long time, considering the question. Finally, he quoted, "'When pride comes, then comes shame: but with the lowly is wisdom.' You have learned much wisdom from your shame, Castiel. I understand what you are saying. It's about moderation and balance. I do have one question: Did she learn?"

A smile graced the father's features. "We learned together."


	12. Corrupt

Such death.

Castiel, exhausted and battered himself, stopped. Standing still in the midst of battle, he watched as his brothers and sisters waged war against each other. The field surrounding them was littered with the bodies of fallen angels. The storm that raged above mimicked the turmoil on the field.

And for what?

In disbelief, Castiel recognized they weren't slaughtering in the name of Heaven. They were slaughtering in the name of **Power **- and not the power to help and protect, as was his Original Design.

No, this power was corrupt. It was selfish. It was arrogant. It was _cruel_.

When had the Angels fallen so far from their Father's Word?

"Enough!" Castiel's voice boomed, shaking the trees as lightning streaked across the sky. Surprised, all the angels paused, turning to look at him.

Castiel gestured around, voice so loud no angel could ignore him. "Look around you! Look at what we have become! Is **this **what we are meant to do?" Turning, he yelled to the remaining angels. "We are not only slaughtering each other, but the humans," Castiel spread his hands to indicate all the bodies of the vessels lying lifeless on the ground, "we are supposed to be protecting! Do you really wonder why Father left? Why He loves them more? Maybe it's OUR faith He is testing, not theirs!" Murmurs went throughout his family as they glanced at the innocent blood spilled all around them.

Throwing his angel sword pointedly into the ground, Castiel's gaze rose up to the sky in sadness. "And Father knows we are failing."


	13. Free Will

_Fucking angels_, Dean thought. Everything had been fine until Cas went and got himself a Slushie.

Dean had nearly choked when one of the angels asked Cas why he had "red like Hell". Cas corrected him, telling him it was only cherry. Suddenly, they weren't having an Angel Meeting anymore. They were having a lesson in humanity.

Cas tried to tell them he was allowed because he worked there. That it would be stealing if anyone else took one. Humans lived off money. Without it, they struggled to survive. A dozen slushies wouldn't go unnoticed in the store inventory.

Swamped with disappointed angels completely fascinated by the machine, Cas' eyes had met theirs in desperation, and Sam reluctantly took out his wallet and put a twenty on the counter next to the register.

"Child size only!" Dean ordered, as cries of "I want blue like the sky!" and Cas' "That's blueberry" filled the room. Dean watched as his friend helped everyone fill their cups, then leaned over to his brother. "We are never holding a meeting in a Gas'n'Sip again."


End file.
